Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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