We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
