these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
