They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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