How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
