and you said cock pushups were impossible
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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