Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
