super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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