I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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