What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
zippers are such a cool invention
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize