Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
