I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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