i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
