Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
