69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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