i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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