Come see our sink grown plant.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
