do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
