Don't you send me to vm
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
