dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
