i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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