alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize