weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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