I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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