i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
