went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
