i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
