I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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