I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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