so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
