The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
