Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
