dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
