Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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