then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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