Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
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There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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