If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Terrible idea I love it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
