Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
