Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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