69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
