it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
