For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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