At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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