He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My breasts were aching with rage.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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