quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
