I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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