Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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