I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize