are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
