I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
