I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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