I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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