I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
