Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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