If that was your dad, he is hot
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
