Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize