No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
