Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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