Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
