Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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