I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
