apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
