I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I want to be your penis for a week.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
