yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
