ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
